That Shirt is so Ugly, You Should Wear it Golfing!

I will never understand why golf fashion is so bad. Seriously people wear crap on the golf course that if you stuff like that all the time you would fine yourself on “What Not to Wear” faster then you can say “fore!”

Come to think of it, maybe they should have a “What Not to Wear for Golfers.”They really need it. They’re always wear those ugly-ass white belts. Why white? Add that to a red faded polo shirt tucked into royal blue shorts that end before the knee and you have one of the crappiest looking outfits ever. Yey for some reason, that outfit is just find for the golf course.

Apple: Caught in the Catch-22

Apple is a very interesting company. Despite what they may be trying to everyone via their “Mac vs PC” campaign, they don’t want to take the top spot from Microsoft in the OS kingdom. Yes, they want you to swhich, they just don’t want that many of you to swhich.

Apple is in it’s current position now because it didn’t want to play well with others. Steve Jobs is a control freak and being a control freak didn’t want anybody buy him to mess with his computer. Originally they passed it off as that it’s both the hardware and software that make the computer, so it both should be from the same company, but as Jobs has shown as over the years is that he really is just a control freak.

Over time the control freak origins had been morphed into a “we’re different” mindset, going against the “man” or Bill Gates. This has a very profitable and hardcore, but relatively small fanbase. But as any business, Apple wants to get bigger. But it faces a problem, they can’t get too big.

The reasons are three-fold. First get too big and that hardcore fanbase of “different thinkers” will feel like Jobs and pals sold out and move on the next “different thing.” Seriously, people say that they like Mac’s GUI better, but it’s really because it’s not Windows and they’re too lazy to deal with Linux.

A second reason is Jobs really doesn’t want his software to be under the same magnifying glass that Windows is. Yeah, Vista has issues, but so does Mac OS X Leopard. But nobody hears about them because nobody really uses it. Everybody hears about Vista’s problems because everybody uses it.

The third and the most important one is that if they get too big Jobs won’t want the anti-trust people looking at him too hard.

Microsoft was ruled to be a monopoly because they included a web-browser with an operating system. How do you think anti-trust regulators would feel about Apple’s business model? Not only do they include the web-browser, but they also tell you what hardware you have to buy to get their software.

Granted, Apple will never get close to Microsoft marketshare on operating systems, simplely because they don’t play well with others, but they don’t have to get much bigger before the courts start looking at the legality of some of Apple’s practices.

Tom Cruise is Crazy

Recently video of an interview Tom Cruise did to be shown when he was to be presented Scientology’s “Medal of Freedom.” It’s some pretty disturbing stuff he’s talks about, including that Scientologists are the foremost experts on the mind.

In addition, a group calling themselves the “Anonymous” posted a video on YouTube declaring war on Scientology. So far they have been able to crash the official Scientology website and hack the sites of several chapter websites.

Here’s the video:

It’s Been a Long Weekend

The Jackass has had a pretty busy weekend; so busy that I didn’t even touch a computer all weekend. It was actually quite refreshing not being dependent on technology to have a good time. But now it’s the recovery day and we’re all sitting around like a bunch of cult members that just drank special Kool-Aid.

On a side tangent, I wonder how the good people at Kool-Aid feel whenever another cult decides to use “Kool-Aid” as their preferred method of meeting the maker? I mean why is it always Kool-Aid? Kool-Aid isn’t the only powdered drink out there. It could it Gatorade, lemonade, some off-brand if the cult was a bunch of cheap-asses. No the media just calls it “Kool-Aid.”

We were First…

In a story we broke long before anyone else, Hillary Clinton has been declared the winner of the Michigan Democratic Primary with 55% of the vote. In second was Uncommitted with 40%. With this being by far the best showing yet for Uncommitted, he hopes he can use his performance in Michigan as a springboard for success in Nevada.

“This was a clear vote that people are not happy with the status-quo,” proclaimed Uncommitted at a support rally,”and we will take our message to Nevada and beyond!”

Hillary was unavailable for comment.

Why Even Pay Tuition?

This semester I’m taking a Graphic Design class that is required by my major. To my horror the whole class is done on Macs. I hate Macs, I don’t even own an iPod, I have a Zune instead. You can’t right click with a Mac, and I love my right click.

To make matters worst, we have to pay a fee to be able to use the “Mac Lab” on top of the tuition I paid for the class so I old hack and tell things I already know. But of course I have to take the class because it is required and they don’t let you opt out. And we don’t know if we’ll be able to use the computers next class because they’re putting Leopard on all the Macs. All the PCs on campus are still perfectly function with XP!

Ah, college…

This Jackass is Drooling

Unless you live in a cave or don’t give a shit about cars, you know that 2008 Detroit Auto Show is going on now. At the show Ford unveiled the final of 3 Verve concepts, this one a sedan meant for the US. 2010 can’t come soon enough.

Car and Driver Video

Fellow Bloggers At Work

Here’s the video of the guys from Gizmondo’s prank at CES of turning off TVs with a TV B-Gon. As you can see it’s quite affective. I may have to get one.

Besides being funny as hell, the video points out one thing that had been bugging me. If you notice, the POWER bottom is in a pain is the ass shot to get to! Does it really kill the “coolness” of a flat-screen if you have one or two easy to get to buttons?!

Dr. Phil, you suck!

I’m so damn sick of Dr. Phil. He’s a hack yet for some reason people listen to him like he’s a god, of course those people are the same ones who love Oprah. I bet most people don’t even know that he no longer has a license to practice anymore, that’s right the world’s most famous shrink is barred from practicing. You you want more just Wikipedia the S.O.B.

Now he’s on a quest to save Britney Spears. Go luck there pal. You can take the girl out of the trailer park, but you can’t take the trailer park out of the girl. It’s not Britney, its a family thing just look at her sister Jamie Lynn. C’mon the girl was bound to be messed up. Her parents named her after themselves and she has her dad’s name as her first name. So Doc if you are trying to help Brit maybe you should go look at the parents beforehand because they seem to be the source of the promblems, that or all the inbreeding…

Just Because I’m a Jackass…

…Doesn’t mean that I think it’s ok to be jackass to people in public. Yes, I’m a jackass within the boundaries of this blog not to people I met in everyday life without a reason. Today I was grabbing lunch at a fast food establishment will be known that it only by that it rhymes with “Murger Bing” eating a “Chopper” and this fat ass dude, and I really mean “fat ass” the guy had to be 300+ pounds, came in demanding to know if they had chilli, which the lady working the counter said they did. The man then demanded to know the price and then ordered a 5-piece chicken tender.

“We don’t have a 5-piece sir, would you like a 4-piece?” they lady asked politely.

“No a 5-piece – wait don’t you have something for a dollar?” the fat ass said angrily.

“Yes sir, the 4-piece.”

“Fine I’ll have that then,” said the fat ass like the lady working the counter was a totally dumbass that didn’t know English, “I need something to drink.”

“We have Coke products, sir.”

“No, no Coke products, I CAN’T have Coke products.”

“Well sir, if you want a soft drink that is what we have, sir.”

“No, no Coke products.”

“Would you like a milk shake, sir?”

“Fine! I’ll have a medium chocolate,” the fat ass replied like he was a level above on the food pyramid.

This whole time I’m staring at the fat ass tempted to say something but I decided not to make a scene because the fat ass may try to sit on me and crush me. As I’m walking out to my car the fat ass follows shortly behind walking out to a car that just pulled up to pick him up. The name of company on the side of the car: “Visiting Physicians.” I hope the fat ass’s bedside manner is better than his treatment of random people.