Are Some Teams Destined to Suck?

I’m watching the Lions vs. Packers right now and have concluded that the Lions will never win a Super Bowl. Why? Because they are destined to suck, much like the Cardinals. In fact, the Lions and Cardinals are the only teams to have been in existence since the start of the Super Bowl to never to make it to one. Technically, Cleveland hasn’t been to one either, but they don’t count because the team that was the original Browns (Ravens) did go to a Super Bowl and that they didn’t exist during the late-90s.

Every sport has them, the teams that always suck. Baseball has the Rays, Royals, pretty much the entire National League… Basketball has the Clippers, Warriors, Bobcats, and Bucks. Hockey has, well hockey has been pretty good about every team having a good season every once in a while.

For a lot of the teams mentioned it’s the ownership to blame. Others seemed to be just destined to suck. No matter who’s the coach, the players, they still some how manage to be bad and always find new ways to be bad.

Finally, the NFL did something Right

I actually have to give the NFL credit for allowing the Pats vs. Giants game to be broadcast on CBS and NBC as well as the NFL Network. Originally it was only going to be on the NFL Network which was not an issue for me since apparently I’m one 6 people in the country that actually get the NFL Network which is funny because I never watch it because I view it as a complete waste of time outside the actual football games.

And of course, the NFL turns the whole thing as a giant promo for the NFL Network. But as a promotional tool I thing it backfired since it showed the public that the NFL Network has the worst play-by-play team in all of football with Bryant Gumbel and Cris Collinsworth. Plus they might want to rethink their ad campaign featuring the two guys at the diner as it portrays the typical NFL Network viewer and a single bum that does nothing more that sit on his ass and watch shows from NFL Films, so basically a loser.

Forget Touring, the Money is in Ads, Bitch!

Anybody remember that cute little song by the weird-looking lead singer of Nickleback and another guy with a striped goatee call “Hero” for the Spiderman soundtrack a few year back? Well that other guy has a band of his own, Saliva. Saliva has done ok for themselves with a couple of gold albums, but nowhere near buddy band Nickleback.

So what is Saliva to do to have the cash to throw around when they go for a night around town with their buds who have a much bigger record contract? The answer is simple, write songs that marketing minions will droll over. And that’s what they did.

You’ve probably heard the song “Ladies and Gentlemen” by Saliva. It was the WrestleMania 23 theme song, featured in the newest PlayStation 3 ad campaign, promos for the new American Gladiators, ESPN Radio, NFL Network, and just about every sports arena in the past year.

If you listen to the song by itself, it’s quite forgettable and somewhat stupid sounding. It can be broken down into two parts:

Rock on, Josey

• Lead singer Josey Scott (yes, that’s his real name) sounding like a one of those guys they had outside freakshows talking them up
• Heavy guitar riffs overlaid with Josey Scott yelling “Let me hear it Ladies and Gentlemen.”

Oh, and it goes like that for over 3 minutes, perfect for a 30 second ad, not so much for the radio.

It makes me want to go and make an album made up of songs designed solely for ads. I’ll call it “Songs for Commericals.”