It’s Been a Long Weekend

The Jackass has had a pretty busy weekend; so busy that I didn’t even touch a computer all weekend. It was actually quite refreshing not being dependent on technology to have a good time. But now it’s the recovery day and we’re all sitting around like a bunch of cult members that just drank special Kool-Aid.

On a side tangent, I wonder how the good people at Kool-Aid feel whenever another cult decides to use “Kool-Aid” as their preferred method of meeting the maker? I mean why is it always Kool-Aid? Kool-Aid isn’t the only powdered drink out there. It could it Gatorade, lemonade, some off-brand if the cult was a bunch of cheap-asses. No the media just calls it “Kool-Aid.”

Just Because I’m a Jackass…

…Doesn’t mean that I think it’s ok to be jackass to people in public. Yes, I’m a jackass within the boundaries of this blog not to people I met in everyday life without a reason. Today I was grabbing lunch at a fast food establishment will be known that it only by that it rhymes with “Murger Bing” eating a “Chopper” and this fat ass dude, and I really mean “fat ass” the guy had to be 300+ pounds, came in demanding to know if they had chilli, which the lady working the counter said they did. The man then demanded to know the price and then ordered a 5-piece chicken tender.

“We don’t have a 5-piece sir, would you like a 4-piece?” they lady asked politely.

“No a 5-piece – wait don’t you have something for a dollar?” the fat ass said angrily.

“Yes sir, the 4-piece.”

“Fine I’ll have that then,” said the fat ass like the lady working the counter was a totally dumbass that didn’t know English, “I need something to drink.”

“We have Coke products, sir.”

“No, no Coke products, I CAN’T have Coke products.”

“Well sir, if you want a soft drink that is what we have, sir.”

“No, no Coke products.”

“Would you like a milk shake, sir?”

“Fine! I’ll have a medium chocolate,” the fat ass replied like he was a level above on the food pyramid.

This whole time I’m staring at the fat ass tempted to say something but I decided not to make a scene because the fat ass may try to sit on me and crush me. As I’m walking out to my car the fat ass follows shortly behind walking out to a car that just pulled up to pick him up. The name of company on the side of the car: “Visiting Physicians.” I hope the fat ass’s bedside manner is better than his treatment of random people.

Hangin’ in the ‘Burbs

This weekend I went and visited friends in the suburbs of Detroit and let me tell you, not for me. Why the hell would I want to live in a subdivision full of McMansions crammed on lots almost exactly the same size as the house with NO front or back yard to speak of? Add to it little bitch soccer moms on the Homeowners Association that drive around in their minivans and bitch if you park your car the wrong way in YOUR driveway. No thank you.

I would rather live in the city were I might actually get a yard to speak of and be able to walk to places without feeling like Frogger trying to cross 10 lanes of traffic.

And what the hell is with the names of subdivisions? There was one named “The Preserve,” which my friend pointed out that they leveled about 60 acres of woods to build. WTF?! Then there was the one my friend lives in, “The Vineyards.” I didn’t see one damn grapevine in the whole damn place. I bet the HOA bans them.

On Vacation…

The Jackass is taking a weekend off. So don’t expect any new posts this weekend unless there is  something that really gets my goat. Where the hell did that phrase come from anyway?

Happy New Year

Now leave me alone, I have to work in the morning. We all can’t be slackers.

BTW, is Dick Clark ever going to die?!

A Week Later…

I’ve been blogging now for a week and what a week it was. The real John Chow actually visited my humble little site and commented one of my posts. Not John Chow was kind enough to visit and comment as well. The Hulu.com support team also stopped by and replied to my complaint about not being able to embed a video. And some of my posts ended on some of the weirdest websites. Oh, and some guy calling himself a Jedi tried to post a comment about how people can now live forever.

This is fun.

This is a rant blog, not a tea party!

Granted I’ve only been doing this for a week now, but I already realized that I lost focus. This is supposed to be a rant blog, I place for a Jackass to get on a soap box. But I got caught up in the need to post all the time. I put a link to Queen Elizabeth’s Christmas message for crying out loud! What the hell was I thinking?!

I know what I was thinking, I focused too much on the number of visits, it became my crack. Traffic is down I must post again! It’s been one week and I already became just another blog about some boring dude talking about going to Target. No more!

I woot, do you?

One of my favorite sites currently is woot.com. Woot pioneered the “One day, one deal” business model. Sometimes you can get some great shit on there for a great price. But other times the deal of the day just downright sucks ass. Plus there is usually a set number available that day.

But that’s the fun of Woot. It’s almost a race to see who can log on soonest after 12:00 am Central time and grab the first woot. It’s like Black Friday everyday, without the probably of being trampled to death, but you can get cyber bitch-slapped.

The Day After…

The day after Christmas, the gifts are shoved in the back of the closet and the deals are to be had.  The stores cut prices to get rid of the shit that no one bought when it was on sale to began with and the returns and exchange counter is piled high and the return lines stretch out the door.

I went to two places this morning. The first was Target and when we walk inside there isn’t a single cart to be seen by the front door, crazy. The funniest thing was everyone was packed in an “L” shaped area of the store that consisted of the grocery, electronics, toys, and Christmas decor. Every where else in the store was a ghost town. I walked to the men’s clothing to grab some socks, you can never have too many socks, and there wasn’t a single other soul in the department.

The second place was Wal-Mart. Normally I hate shopping there and this morning just reinforced that. But it was the place with the cheapest Upcoverting DVD players by at least $20 so I bit the bullet and headed inside. Entire shelves were stripped clean. In the electronics department I find the DVD Players but the only one of the model I want is an open box. And the worker I asked if they had any more in the back was a total dick. Never again Wal-Mart.

I will create a unique design for this Blog, one day…

It some point I plan to make my own unique template for this blog, but let’s face it, I’m lazy as hell. The fact that I even started this blog is a small miracle.

Sure, I know enough about HTML and CSS, but when you have a perfectly good available template, why ruin a good thing?